Thursday, May 7

Needing People

Been thinking about writing for a few days (maybe longer) now, but I've been hesitating. Why, probably because my mood seems to change from one day to the next. For instance, I was in such a good mood yesterday afternoon that I felt I could probably ask the next person I met (online) out for a date/meet-n-greet with confidence. Today I'm feeling unsure of myself and thinking, "Why would anyone want to be with me?" See what I mean? I really hate mood swings, and seem powerless to overcome them. I don't know if it's *just* an MS thing or what. *Sigh. Just fucking sigh!*


Well, yesterday I went and bought some coffee creamer yesterday. My thinking is that it'll save me money by my not feeling the need to go buy a coffee of latte' when I'm craving coffee. It's not so much the latte' I crave, but the need to get out of this house of loneliness. There was a time in my life when I had no problem whatsoever being alone for long periods of time. Now a day or two seems like fucking forever, so I go places *just* so I can be around people, even if I don't talk to them or vice versa.


Speaking of people, I have been having a "envious" thing going on for a while. It feels to me like everyone has a better life than I do (mostly when I see couples). And yes, I know/understand that many have it much worse than I do too, but knowing that doesn't change my feelings, so please don't tell me that. Thank you.


I guess I should get motivated and use the *2* extension cords I have, connect them, and do a little weed whacking. Oh, I'm sure it could wait until I get my/our mower back from the guy who will hopefully have it fixed soon, but I need something physical to do that doesn't involve working on the puzzle I bought that I haven't worked on for a couple of weeks now. Oh well, it only cost me $8 and will give me something to do some day.

Sunday, March 29


    It has been a few (weeks?) since I've updated my blog. Just thought I'd point that out if you weren't paying attention. LOL. Anyway, I guess I can tell you, or re-tell some of you that I have started taking a Yoga class at our YMCA. I have only been to two classes so far. The main reasons for starting that is to hopefully get my balance to improve, another is to stretch and strengthen my leg muscles, especially my left thigh muscle. I am hoping for the latter especially, to either stop the foot-drop from happening, or at least improve my walking by being able to raise my foot higher off the ground. That way, the brace, also referred to an AFO (Ankle Foot Orthotic), will be more beneficial to my gait.

    Let's see… what else is new? Not a hell of a lot to be honest. I'm having a difficult time deciding what to write. I don't want to share too much information with the public. Then again, I hear that any and everything that goes out electronically, either via email, video, or a blog, can be seen by pretty much anyone who wants to snoop bad enough. That doesn't mean we should make it easy though, right?

Anyway, I do believe that spring has sprung here in TX. Am I enjoying it? Only a little. I'm really hoping that my electric bill will go down to less than $250-$300 a month, which it has been the last couple/few month, that greatly impacts our money that could be spent on groceries. I'd probably enjoy Spring more if I was better able to tolerate heat. Even with a cooling jacket on, I can't be outside in heat that is much over 80-90 degrees Fahrenheit for very long. I fucking hate MS (multiple sclerosis). I have decided to try something different when running the air conditioner. Prior to this year I was setting it on "energy saver" mode, so that it would go off completely (well, almost) when it reached a certain temperature in the living room (it's a window unit). However, it wasn't being very efficient, meaning that it (the AC) would allow the room temperature to get to 80*F, or a little above even with the setting being on 75*F. So this year I am leaving it on "cool", still set at 75, but it'll go into 'fan mode' when the temp. gets to the set temp. I don't know if that'll save any money or not, but I get sleepy and lose all my energy when it gets to almost 80 in here. Besides, if I can (barely) pay the heating bills of almost $300, I should be able to wrangle less than that for a cooling bill.