doing

          I just got back from park, where I sat at a picnic table under an awning. Not a gazebo really, but where there was one picnic table (but room for a few more) under a pointed roof.  No, I did not engage in a picnic-for-one, rather I sat at, then on the table and watched the ducks (not geese) swim around. Even saw a couple diving under the water for who knows what. While doing that, I did the thinking thing. I remembered when we (late wife and our 2 young ones who were 6 & 3) first moved to NM and went to a park there, where there was a river, and we played in the water and the playground. That got me to thinking of what a happy time that was, though it was hot like here. At the time, the heat didn’t bother me. Then I thought to myself, “What *did* I do? I played with the kids.” OK, that’s not what I thought I’d write originally. I *was* thinking that I would’ve been sitting and watching, not really running around either (like now) but now that I think about it some more, the sitting and watching is NOT what I would’ve been doing. Which brings me to the now when I *would* be sitting and watching because of the heat and lack of mobility (walking & fatigue issues). Thinking that just bums me out. So let’s not think about that! One (me) needs to have thoughts like, “Things have changed, and that’s OK.” I can only do what now says that I can, and I need to be happy with that. Of course that’s easier said than done, but I constantly work on being content with the new me. What took/got me to the park in the first place was just a spur of the moment decision; on my way back from the grocery store where I bought myself what I *know* I “should” abstain from (a soda that has “bad” things in it, like aspartame) those things. But what the hell, I’m going to die of something anyway. That being said, aspartame doesn’t actually kill you, it just causes (allegedly. In large amounts?) all kinds of issues, some physical but mostly chemically to the nervous system. Which is why I told myself last week (and many times prior), that I was going to stop drinking sodas and just drink healthy things liked water, herbal tea and stuff. Something else that crossed my mind while at the park was that I wished I had brought my camera, but did I? No. Silly man! I really should just take it with me everywhere. Normally I could use the camera app on my smartphone. Though I’ve been leaving it at home more and more because, well, it’s a phone and I *rarely* get calls or call anyone for that matter. Hence the mental note to just take a camera, which takes better pictures than the phone anyway. However, the possibility to get pictures from my phone to our computer is not beyond my technological knowledge. I have the technology! The reason I thought to go to the grocery store in the first place was that I told myself (yes I talk to myself a lot, a lot!), “Do something besides sit at home being bored.” So out I went.

Son was sleeping, because he pulled an all-nigher reading/playing on the computer, and I was tired of trying to entertain myself (as always). In fact he came to the living room and went to sleep in the chair after only 5 hours of sleep. I have no idea why he didn’t sleep longer. It doesn’t matter. As I walked in the door with plans of writing, he was coming out and waking-up the computer. I thanked him saying, “Thanks, I was just about to use that.” No doubt he is not a happy camper, thus the flopping into the chair and passing out. I’m working on not feeling guilty for spending time on *my* (when it comes right down to it) PC, though it’s the only computer set up and able to connect to the Internet because of the lack of living space. He spends *hours* on here and *I* have to find other things (like reading, cooking, cleaning, playing on the Wii, etc.) to do; so can he. Right? Right. It’s one of the main issues I struggle with. He will do *nothing* else when he’s not on the computer (yes we’ve talked about it). Although once in a *great* while he’ll read. Me being me, I have just gotten into the “bad” habit of letting him. In all honesty, it’s because I can’t (usually) spend *hours* on the computer like I’ve done in the past (almost 3 years ago though) and I don’t/can’t think of anything else to suggest. I have heard that it’s not my responsibility to give him ideas for entertaining himself. He is 19! Anyway, that’s a family issue, nothing for you to concern yourself with (like I had to tell you. Sorry).

           It has been suggested that I look for tutorials on-line to make rugs using plastic grocery bags. I’ve heard of that but haven’t considered doing it. Again, I don’t know why not, just haven’t (in my defense, it has been a while since hearing of it). Having thought about it since it was suggested, I believe that is something worth considering. Actually have decided that I *will* do that today. We don’t have a lot of bags right now, though there’s enough to at least get started. Yes, there is always the learning how to crochet, which I actually thought about trying again last night (said to the one who knows who she is. lol). Once again I am also thinking that there has *got* to be something creative to do with the plethora of shower curtain rings that we have. Maybe buy several different colors of spray paint, paint the individual rings in different colors, connect them (or not), and make a curtain or some other kind of hanging thing. Perhaps hanging it/them over my bedroom door or between posts on the front porch entry-way would be an idea. It *just* occurred to me that I could put them on the door to our water heater, in the shape of a Christmas tree too, or any other shape. Hmm! I read a comment on-line last night that said, “If you’re bored, then you are probably a boring person.” (something to that effect). I read an article many years ago with a very similar premise. That got me to thinking; one of the ways not to be bored/boring is to do something, hence why I had to go somewhere today and do something, even if it was only to the store to buy junk food. Yeah, I know that’s bad, but it’s my mindset a lot of the time. Something I’m working on, and have been for the last 3 years (off & on), and why there’s the ideas of projects. I know that some of my friends indeed do have hobbies that they entertain themselves with to a) keep themselves busy, and b) to keep themselves happy by being creative. There is the theory that creativity is one of the best things for a person’s happiness. I’ve just gotten out of the habit of being creative and into the habit of thinking that I have to be doing things more similar to physical labor to be “busy”; busy-work I think it’s called.